i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
