ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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