dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
But break dance skills will only take you so far
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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