You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
