yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
