Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
