I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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