Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Randomize
