I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
