Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I've blown a few things in my day
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Randomize
