You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I'm always down for nudity.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
