Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
