it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
