Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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