I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
