nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
