I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
