If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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