I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
