I wannas sexs uuuuu
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
