I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
God I need to hump something, right now.
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