I'm so fucking centered right now
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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