the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
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