ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
