Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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