dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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