Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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