So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
