Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
