Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
