i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
