Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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