My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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