Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
