its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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