i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Randomize
