Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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