Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
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