I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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