wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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