glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
