did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
