Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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