On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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