that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
