Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
