If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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