2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
