What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
