youre lurking in front of me
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
