no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
It was confusing and full of hummus
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
