just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
What a dumb baby whore.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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